Boring

Hejsan!
Well I didn't really blog lately for one simple reason nothing is going on in my life whatsoever. School is so boring and I can only think of depressive stuff. Such as the guy that I like has no clue and likes someone else and I am friend zoned to the maximum. My brother is leaving. I miss my friends.

I am not proud of this but the last two day I have tried to start cutting with a scissor and it feels really nice but they are not even real cuts more like scratches. I want to feel pain but I don't know if I am ready for it. I tried also with a razor blade which worked but it started to burn so bad that I don't want to do that. I do not want it to burn I want it too hurt.

Too be honest I wish that people didn't cut themselves but I do understand it. It is the perfect release of pain. I wish I didn't have to feel like this.